| subjects are smelly |
[Oct. 18th, 2007|10:41 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | die uni | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blank | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Hide and Seek | ] |
Hmm. I haven't updated in a while. Not that there is anything to write, but I am obsessively listening to 'Hide and Seek' on myspace and have to think of things to do on the internet in the meantime. I have nothing to write though. My life is boring and there is nothing going on outside my own head. There is plenty going on in there but I am pretty sure if I write about that someone will have me committed. Joking. Mostly.
I have a headache. I have had a headache for two weeks. It won't be long before I conclude that I have a brain tumour. Thankfully I have a strange brand of hypochondria, however, and although I often convince myself I have a disease, I'm always too chicken to go to the doctor about it in case my theory is correct. I believe that ignorance is bliss.
Um. I have to go to a tute now.
-Ash |
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| Beauty-school drop-out... (well, a school for beautifying the mind, anyway) |
[Aug. 29th, 2007|10:34 am] |
I am thinking about going part time at uni and doing... well, something that is not this for a while. When I say thinking, I mean, I have all but decided. I thought it might be good to talk to my parents first, and I've prayed about it and such, but short of my parents threatening to cut me off or an angel appearing in a dream, I am going to go part time and look for a job and actually contribute to the world for a while. And here's why.
One definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. And I think that's what I have been doing at uni and with life in general lately. I've just been forging on with my degree despite having little to no drive. I have interest, but because there is no drive behind it I am not terribly motivated to do the work that's attached to my degree. Reading, going to tutes to talk about books and history, rocking up to the lectures that sound interesting; yes. Writing tedious assignments, sitting through boring lectures; not so much. I think this cyclical cycle of wasting my time really ought to end. If I've done everything I can think of to motivate myself short of dropping out, then, maybe something more drastic is in order.
I feel very much at peace with the idea. Which is rare. And which hasn't happened since I decided to go to India. I don't usually like making decisions, so I take that as a good sign. I will have to be a bit scroogy for a while, since I assume I'll lose my youth allowance, but that's about the worst of it. If I hate not being at uni full time or start to go crazy or don't come up with a better idea of what I want to do with my life or can't find a job, I can always go back to full-time study next semester. Sleazy. But in the meantime, I am looking forward to stopping and smelling the roses for a while. Cooking and riding my bike (now Nana is home I can get it out of her shed) and actually having time to clean the house and op-shop (that's all I'll be able to afford).
I know that life does not tend to offer one the luxury of thinking time. Since I am in a position to make such an opportunity, I think I will take it.
Anyway. 'Tis all!
-Ash |
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| Pity party |
[Aug. 24th, 2007|01:23 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  grumpy | ] |
I feel depressed and bad-tempered right now. Here is my attempt to get it out of my system in five minutes.
1. Lesbian Mills and Boon books suck.
2. Boys are smelly.
3. I hate uni. Especially with lots of little kids and yellow people milling around it.
4. I can't write essays.
5. Being poor is ghey.
I have a headache and I hate the world and feel sorry for myself and don't want to write my essay and don't want to have no money and need a nap and hate all the stupid kids here for open day and I don't want to go to work tomorrow and I don't want to have to spend the weekend writing and essay and I hate the people on the roof and I want to run away and join the circus, except I can't do any tricks. So instead I am going to stop bitching and moaning for a bit and try to finish my essay and convince myself that uni is awesome and poverty is character-building and lesbian Mills and Boons rock and boys smell nice and that I can, in fact, write essays.
Pity-party over. |
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| Ow |
[Aug. 20th, 2007|02:28 pm] |
I washed a chipped cup this morning and I cut my hand despite the fact that I was wearing rubber gloves. I cut the thumb of the glove off and sliced into the webbing between my thumb and index finger... it hurt like hell, so I am never washing dishes again. That's fair, isn't it?
This is the most interesting thing that has happened to me since I last wrote. Oh. I had tea with Andrew on Saturday night and he bought me a teddy bear. How sweet. Oh my god, I am annoying myself with how gushy I am being. I am such a chick.
Um... I am going to stop typing now since it hurts my hand. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 14th, 2007|01:40 pm] |
Hallo Leute!
Ich bin good. Und you? I feel like schreibing auf Denglish jetzt today. It makes fun! Mir ist crazy.
Okay. That's more effort than it's worth after a while. Um... updates. I am going out with Andrew, so really all I have been doing is being mushy about that. And studying. And doing laundry and cleaning my room. That's really all I have time for. Of course, now I am wasting some time on the internet, which is always fun, despite the fact that I actually have two assignments due next week. Shit. I should really start those or I won't get them done and I'll have to drop out which would be a pity since I really like my subjects this semester. But just because I makes the rules doesn't mean I get to break them.
Um... yeah. It's weird, when I have been single for forever and friends with Andrew for so long to remember that we are together. Presumably it will get easier since we have only been going out for like five minutes, but, for example, last night I took my notes from my journal and this guy saw our photo glued into the front page and asked if he was my boyfriend, and I went to say no and then remembered, oh yeah, he is. Weird. Really have to hope he doesn't take it personally, because then I would really feel like a bitch.
Ergh... I should really go catch a bus so I can get home in time to take my washing off the line.
Buenos nachos!
Ash |
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| I'm not a Muggle-born! I'm not! |
[Aug. 9th, 2007|10:47 am] |
I had a dream last night that I was Harry Potter and me and Hermione were sneaking into a massive concert the Death Eaters had put on to register people and catch Muggle-borns. We had snuck in disguised and the person whose DNA I had in my Polyjuice potion was a Muggle-born, so the Death-Eaters were trying to get me. It was very, very scary.
So, doctor, does this mean I am going mad?
I have lost my keys somewhere in the house. They were on the kitchen table and then they disappeared. I searched for an hour last night for them. I even checked the fridge. The fridge! people. So annoying.
Crap. I should be at a tute. Must go.
-Ash |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 7th, 2007|11:21 am] |
Hmm... since I last wrote. I went to a funeral and didn't cry because I was busy being angry. I went to see 'Knocked Up'... it was hilarious. Work. Went to church and supper with Andrew's family. It was a little Temple-icious for my tastes, but it wasn't bad. Went to my own church. More work. Went to Lucy's to watch 'He Died with a Felafel in his hand' and 'Orgazmo' and eat too much. Have lunch with Cash and tea with Kristen. Madly tried to finish my reading. Went to another Jesus course thing. There was some sleeping and a few showers in there. And now I am at uni. The afternoon brings with it the promise of lunch and scrabble with Kez and another Jesus thing and a lecture and some more reading. How exciting.
Lots of Jesusness in my calender at the present time, I note as I write. Every day if we include funerals as religious exercises, since they kind of are. There is, after all, praying and mentioning of the afterlife and suchwhat.
I am feeling very into blue and roots at the moment. Recommendations welcome.
I am thinking, mummy, that it's not very fair that you always get to read my livejournal and you don't have a page of some kind that I can spy on. This is most uncool, and I think you should start a myspace page or similar to rectify the situation.
Meh. I have to go meet Kerrilee. Au revoir. |
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| Nie wieder Krieg, nie mehr Las Vegas! |
[Aug. 2nd, 2007|10:05 am] |
A guy on the bus wrote me a note saying I was gorgeous, and even though I don't believe him, it was a nice way to start the day. Maybe I should start giving random people notes saying that they are like, so hot right now. Or maybe not, as it might get me arrested. I don't really want a crinimal record. (The spelling there is intentional).
I went to a Jesus thing last night, and except for the fact that I was a bit intentionally obnoxious, which I felt bad about afterward, it was good. But you don't understand... there was an old Greek man talking about tradition and stuff so I felt compelled to tell him I don't believe in Hell. And also that I thought the world might have been a better place without Paul and the installation of Christianity as state religion. Which in hindsight was possibly a little more inflammatory than was strictly necessary.
I have decided to make all difficult decisions by the toss of one of my special I Ching coins in future. As such, I am dropping German, but not Holocaust. I might just skip a bunch of lectures. I didn't ask the coin which funeral to go to, though. That shall have to wait til tomozza.
Anyway. I have written three days in a row now, which should keep mummy happy. I should probably think about doing some of my reading for my tute in an hour. It's so dense. Stupid Kate. She gives us like ten million pages of reading for the first week, I swear she just likes to watch us suffer!
End transmission. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 1st, 2007|11:39 am] |
I am just going to have a little freak-out. I don't want to do Holocaust anymore. It's distressing me. I know, it's a distressing subject, I should have half-expected it. But I thought I was tougher and since I have heard most of it before I should be fine. Wrong. I had to cover my ears during my lecture today. Not even anything new, just stuff I have heard before than made me shudder then and hearing it all over again makes me want to throw up.
So I figure I am going to take one of three options. I can drop it and do something else... there is a Women's Studies subject I want to do, and technically I have a clash but I am sure that either it'll be recorded or I can miss Kate's lectures, even though I love them. Or I can just drop it, since I am already overloading (although then I can't drop German, which is poo). Or I can just grin and bear it, which may or may not make me miserable for the next four months. Hmmm...
Might go investigate that Women's Studies subject... it's about Women in religion, so that'll be nice and controversial, and possibly make me really angry, but that is always better than sick.
-Ash |
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